preparing for marriage instead of a wedding?

 After dating and courtship, the next step is to get engaged, and after that obviously, get married. Now there are several factors of vital value that are related to that period. How we use our time there will be helpful for our future or it could also be a problem. The first one to consider is to prepare a wedding, which will involve several important decisions. And those are important not because the wedding itself is important, but the consequences in that decision can make a big difference. The second is how we prepare for our marriage more than anything else. that is the perfect time to put things in perspective and practice more what is like to be married. And third is important to be careful with that period and as we spent more time with our fiance and how we protect some boundaries. 

The wedding day is a very special moment for the couple and everyone should celebrate the fact that they are choosing to honor such a beautiful decision. It is known that most of the time the person deciding most things in a wedding is the bride, is also know that the family of the bride is usually the one paying for the wedding as well. Those are some things that perhaps could also be a part of the culture. I am here just to recommend some things so that the impact of those decisions is not negative in the future life of the couple. First, is the money spent on the wedding. The average amount for a wedding nowadays is a ridiculous amount of $35000, and the average for a wedding band is $2500. in my opinion that is too much. especially because couples that opt for something like that, do not have the money so they go into debt for that. just imagine the stress that a new couple will have just to start in debt a new marriage. Considering there are a lot more things to adapt yet, I don't things are necessary to add that to the list. My wife and I had $3000 as a budget and we end up not using $2000. The cheaper the better because most people don't enjoy weddings anyway and the cheaper it is the more they can socialize and be with the people they care about. we had a great time at my wedding and everyone was happy. About the ring, I did not have the money for a real diamond and that was okay, and my wife knew that. the commitment to the relationship is more valuable anyway. Couples that go into debt are more likely to divorce because of the stress. 

Also, something to consider is that during that time is perfect to discuss things like boundaries that you expect in your marriage regarding, money, relationships with friends, families and how involved they will be, education, living expenses, communications, sexual intimacy, and several other things. And the reason I say this is because eventually, every single one of those things will be a problem to solve. Is better just to take them out of the way, especially if you know how to respond when the time comes. 

And last but not least, is that when a couple gets engaged, they are committed to each other already. Sometimes that gives a sense of thinking " whatever we do in marriage is okay to do now" and that is a lie. you can still not have sexual relationships or things like that. But is extremely hard to keep boundaries clear if the engagement period is too long.